I’m craving chocolate. I want to make banana ice cream with rambutan and maybe cocoa. But I’m distracted and somewhat alarmed. Distracted and alarmed by Zoe. A cross between an Alsatian and Cocker Spaniel, Zoe is Aunty and Uncle W’s little companion. Adorable she is.

The first day I met her, she wagged her tail and licked my fingers ever so gently. As my visits to Aunty W’s place increased, Zoe’s warmth decreased. Since of late she has been quite aggressive or rather fearful. This confused Aunty W. Try as I may to charm Zoe, she’d slick back those golden and charcoal ears of hers and run for dear life.

So last night, as I sat with a glass of Shiraz and made small talk with Aunty W, poor Zoe was hiding underneath the dining table. Dogs and cats are insightful creatures. You see, I didn’t let it out, to Aunty W, that lately all domesticated pets maintain a respectful distance from me. Why scare the poor dear. Humans, after all, were never too good at perceiving evil.

Zoe knows a secret. My secret. As my eyes glinted and my cherry red lips touched the Shiraz, I stole a glance at Zoe. Her cocoa-brown eyes shimmered in nervousness as her eyes met ours. Poor thing. She knows. But then, with a tincture of pity, I thought to myself that if I was in her position I would be quite scared too.

Went to office. My slipper broke. Walked downstairs. Asked the security guard for a safety pin and he ran into this other office and came out with this lady wielding this large stapler. She grabbed my slipper and fixed it. I was touched by this act of kindness.  I really do believe that the good and bad you do comes back around. Stick to the good! Must buy her a chocolate sometime.

● Who’s Paying? Basically, as tradition would have it, the bride’s side pays for the wedding while the groom’s side pays for the homecoming. We’ve somewhat progressed to a point where both parties go half and half for the total cost. But it is my own personal experience that one party may try to push off the total cost to the other party. What can I say? Love has proved to be blind, idiotically so.

● Who’s Living Where? Is she going to live with you in your parents’ home or are you going to live with her in her parents’ home? Don’t do either. Live separately. Trust me on this. However sweet she seems, you will see her dark side and you will discover your own dark side. You will draw out your adamantine claws and she her fangs. Yup, not pretty.

● Are You A Gold Digger? Well, you can’t technically ask her this but I’m sure you can find a way. Plus you need to know if her parents are gold diggers. The chance of you marrying someone who embodies the values and morals of your mother’s era is quite rare. Marriages used to be based on good faith, character, integrity, honour and companionship. Nowadays, most women are more interested in what car you drive, what job you do, what your income is, where you dine and what your house looks like than honour and gallantry.

● Am I Marrying Your Family Too? Before you know it, the mother-in-law comes creeping into the marriage bed and starts demanding things for her beloved daughter. Most mother-in-laws are crafty and devious and would stop at nothing to better her daughter’s life, even at the cost of yours. Insist that you are marrying just her daughter and not the entire family. You better spot the signs early before it is too late.

● Do You Like Things I Despise? Like clubbing, for instance. Or shopping in Singapore over the weekend? It can be anything. You just need to put your cards down on the table and state what you do like and don’t like. This is imperative.

Needless to say, there are a myriad of things that you need to discuss before tying the knot. But these are some of the things that I would regard as being quite important. The rate of divorce is quite high and, if you are planning on looking for wedded bliss, plan it right and avoid being a casualty of divorce.

You do end up embracing their issues, their insecurities, their fears and their hopes and dreams. Marriage is a lot of hard work. You are in essence dealing with another person, through whom you expect your hopes and dreams to come true. As many members of the older generation have told me – Marry because you want to, not because others want you to. This does ring true. There are many positives about marriage with companionship and security being just two important ones. Frankly, I don’t know one couple who has not fought and the way they fight (claws and teeth bared) is more than reason to think twice about marriage.

Then there is also the case of digging for gold. Just read the Sunday Observer and its matrimonial section. Prospective applicants are showing off their assets and wealth all in the hope of landing that perfect catch. What I have seen is that people marry for money and much less else. My own experience is that most women I’ve associated are after the proverbial gold. Whatever happened to this concept of – true love and devotion? Consider our parents (the ones that are in their 60s and beyond) who lived in a period when integrity, character and personality were of more importance than money. Times have changed, I fear, for the worse.

Marriage is an institution that needs respect. It is not just the grandiose weddings resplendent with white roses, a Merc, a huge buffet and diamond jewellery being splashed around. Marriage, in my honest opinion, is a farce nowadays. But these are changing times and one needs to accept the change that is happening. I do believe quite firmly that you really have to befriend prospect partners and then lay all cards on the table and discuss what is expected of each other. The days when we were supposed to marry for propagation, religious ideals, culture, tradition and wealth should come to an end. What I really feel is that marriage, in a sense, is coming to an end.

All of what I have ranted on about is quite debatable. I am not arrogant enough to say that marriage does not work. It may for some and may not for others. But it is a serious thing and needs to be treated with respect. for some and may not for others. But it is a serious thing and you do need to tread carefully. Don’t ever be forced into marriage if you don’t want to.

As a wise old lady once told me – It is better to miss the bus than to get on the wrong one

A classic day today. The only dull point was that @minzy24 got seriously ill. So @idnav0 and I took her to hospital. But she was ok. I spent lunch with @idnav0 at Cinnamon Lakeside and then we went back to office. She bought me awesome desserts! Trudged back to office and ran to Warren’s place. Took some oranges, grapes and strawberries with some red wine. Gave a chocolate to the threewheel driver too. Drank and smoked. Ordered Pizza Hut and ate and spoke. Just got home after parents picked me up. Now cuddled in bed after a Sothys do up in the loo. Happy I am.

I’d walk to British Council on sunny Saturdays and spend and hour or two devouring an Agatha Christie novel. Then I’d hop to The Cricket Club Cafe and give into a few beers. The pub fare truly is delightful. There’s always something for every single mood here. Crave for some greasy? Your best bet would be the nachos. You can either choose beef or chicken or simply opt for the vegetarian offering.

There’s also a splendid array of burgers that reek of quality. The batterfried prawns does do justice to the menu as well. The only disadvantage I see is that some of the portions have got smaller and the prices have increased since of late. This is precisely why I currently favour The Gallery Cafe or Cheers Pub. This is not to say that The Cricket Club Cafe is a hopeless affair.

I find it rather disappointing that pork is not offered since it really does spoil the mixed grill. Additionally, one must also mention that there are quite a few soups and vegetarian offerings that are quite good. However, if you do drop in, make sure you ask for the bites menu. The buffalo wings and the devilled chicken are the perfect accompaniments if you do decide to have a few whiskies.

The whole ambiance that is present in this monument to cricket is something unique. It is a must visit for all those who consider themselves aficionados of cricket. While I’m hardly a fan of this game, the place does offer a portfolio of signed bats, shirts, caps and a myriad of cricket paraphanelia from cricketing legends.

While most of my weekends have been spent here traversing classic novels and dreaming up advertising ideas for some of Sri Lanka’s top brands, I’ve also introduced this charming place to many of my friends. Needless to say, they adore the place. It really is worth a visit. Except for long weekends, this is one restaurant that is always packed during lunch and dinner.

It truly is favoured by foreigners and the expat community in Colombo. One needs to give some attention to the array of desserts that are on the menu too. While the pavlova is certainly delish, I find myself gravitating towards the ice cream sundaes. The chocolate brownie wrapped in chocolate sauce is also worth a try.

Caps, shirts and mugs resplendent with The Cricket Club Cafe logo are available for sale as well. All said and done, despite its exorbitant prices, The Cricket Club Cafe is a place that needs to be visited at least once. Chances are that you’re sure to make it a habit.

Another great day spent with my bud @idnav0. Worked out after some time in the morning. Busy day but twas fun.

I’m enjoying the cool climes of Maskeliya right now. The drive here was pretty decent. We stopped at the Tea Cup, which served some incredible Ceylon tea. Then we ended up doing some grocery shopping and reached Gartmoor estate. I’m rather disappointed to note that both Dialog and Mobitel had very patchy Internet connection. Luckily, I managed to inform office I will be offline.

I adore the cold but my ENT can’t handle it. We were invited here by some of my Dad’s bridge friends, who are some pretty financially well off people. I was treated to a myriad of stories that were packed with intrigue and greed. It’s pretty shocking to hear of the primitive behaviour that people resort to when money is involved…even against their own family.

While the majority does try to earn money by hook or by crook, there are some people I know who are wealthy thanks to sheer hard work. I respect that. I always used to tell people I suffered in my 20s to enjoy my 30s. While these last few years have been an orgy of indulgences in fine dining, socializing, philosophying, spa treatments, shopping and gallivanting abroad, I’m left contemplating the future.

I made up my mind it was a chilled out life that I desired. It was a life I embraced. I was frugal and still am. It had worked well and continues to do so. I gave up the hard corporate lifestyle around 6 years ago. I spent those 6 years recovering my health, losing fat and healing my mind.

I promised myself I would never get back into that unforgiving world of being trussed up like a Christmas turkey resplendent with tie and suit. But now there is an opening to head a company. And some spark of enthusiasm had lit my veins up. I have been promised good returns and even better levels of stress plus unforgiving work hours. So am I zany to take this on? My parents, quite predictably, told me not to.

But why I’m diving in is because:

1. I have nothing to lose.

2. Even though I gave up thinking of the corporate world 6 years ago, I need to think about it now, since the world is changing. One cannot be complacent and think it will stay the way it is. My life could change for the worse and I need to keep moving and offering value to earn so my future continues to remains bright.

3. I hate saying this but money is god. Money is more important than ever. With my country becoming more commercialized, money is very important.

4. It is a challenge. I have worked like a dog most of my life. I was not built to mope in defeatism. But, like all of us, we need constant reminders of what we can do. If I do fail so be it. At least I did try.

5. There’s only so much of high living one can do. It becomes stale. The urge to get into the fray is becoming a bit unbearable.

6. Being assaulted by stress reminded me those days that every cent you earned is damn important. Life is hard. There were times I forgot this when I enjoyed myself the last few years. I can’t afford to forget it since it leads to complacency.

Hard work, in whatever way, leads to success. I must not let money change my values and ethics in me. This is what I’m afraid of most. But I believe life is a journey. Let’s see how this trip goes. The worst thing that can happen is you get fired and THAT can be a blessing.

My parents and their parents were very stringent when it came to ethics, values and morals. Anything that went against such were frowned upon. I believe these ethics, values and morals rubbed off on me too. It was not easy growing up with such draconian ways of living but they have certainly helped me become what I am today.

I’ve listed down 8 things I’m proud of. All of which can find certain roots in my personality and how I’ve been brought up.

● No Debts. Being frugal is a real difficult philosophy to embrace. Now more than ever we are accosted by capitalism and commercialization. Everywhere we go all we see are brands aggressively advertising. Most people I know end up spending their hard earned money on stuff they don’t need. My parents brought me up on frugal habits. They enforced it very strictly. I never got whatever I wanted. I only started purchasing whatever I wanted when I started working. I busted my very first salary. Ever since then, I always made it a point to save. And this decision has worked very well. I’ll never give this philosophy up. The worst thing that can happen is being broke and begging for money from people.

● All Loans Paid. I’m governed by certain set of ethics and values. I can’t give those up. There have been a few rare instances where I was compelled to borrow small amounts of money. These instances were like when I was stuck at work till late with no money for transport etc. But, unlike most people I know, I’ve always paid back every single cent.

● Career Opportunities. In an age when people rely on contacts whether they are from school, parents, relations, societies, friends or their church/temple/mosque, I’m proud to say, every single job I had was won through my own hard work. None of it was handed to me on a silver platter. I started off as an Intern in a bank and I reached my zenith as the Head of a Creative Department in an ad agency. I went through 8 or so careers and worked hard at each job I got.

● Parents Come First. I know most of the time I’ve always put my parents first. Like in any family, we’ve had fights. I guess we will have many more to come. But I know in my heart I’ve done far more than and sacrificed far more than most kids when it comes to looking after my parents. I know they have done a lot for me too. This is why I’m loyal besides doing my duty. At the end of the day, they are the only ones who will be there for you.  

● Friends And Loyalty. I choose my friends very carefully. Having lived for over 30 years,  I’m suspicious of people and I’ve developed this uncanny habit of knowing what people are after. While I’m a very friendly person in general, I choose who I want to socialize with very carefully. And once I do open my arms in friendship, I will do whatever I can to be there for you.

● Company Politics Is A No Go. One of the many reasons I’ve never climbed the corporate ladder faster is my refusal to form cliques and start backstabbing others. I’m all about going to work and just coming back home after a hard day at work. I’ve no interest in utilizing other people’s weaknesses for my gain. I’ve no interest in oiling up other people’s viewpoints of me to get raises or promotions. Let the work speak for itself. I got a conscious. Duplicity and being nefarious is not part of my make up.

● Good Manners, Kindness & Compassion. I practice all 3. I can’t begin to state how much I’ve achieved in life by being nice to others. It’s so cool. It’s unbelievably rewarding. I know for a fact I’ve made many people happy by listening to their problems, offering them a helping hand, taking them for a meal, doing charity, being gentlemanly and helping them being confident in themselves. I swear all this positive energy via kindness and compassion has offered me a bounty of blessings.

● Autarky. I love this Greek word. It means – self sufficiency. I remember learning about this particular word when I was studying Classical Civilization. Despite my mother’s best efforts in trying to spoil me, I know, I made it a point to get out of my comfort zone and take on real life. I was brought up on unhealthy doses of fear. I’m still afraid of many things. But I cherish the fact that I have overcome most of my fear and am moulding my future to be fully independent.